Dickens ‘Great Expectations’ Essay

Pip’s account of the events that took place after visiting Miss Havisham My Uncle Pumblechook took me to the home of Miss Havisham. The initial image I had was of a dismal house made from old brick with the windows either bricked up or barred and with a disused brewery at the side of the property. Obviously once a luxurious house it was now beginning to crumble and decay. A very beautiful young girl called Estella met me. Although only my age she seemed to delight in calling me ‘boy’. She told me the Manor house also had the name ‘Satis House’ which in Greek, Latin or Hebrew means ‘Enough house’ and she claimed that whoever had this house would want for nothing, I found this a curious fact. I went in through the side door as the great entrance had two bars across it. I followed Estella who was holding a single candle along dark passages, where all daylight was excluded. Once Estella and I arrived at a door, she left me in pitch black telling me scornfully she didn’t want to go in. I was nervous and apprehensive, however given no other choice I knocked at the door. Once told to enter I found myself in a large dark room in which initially my eyes focused on a draped dressing table festooned with many objects. On further observations I spotted an armchair, sitting in which, I saw the strangest lady I had ever seen before and knew I ever would again. Dressed all in white the bridal dress she wore must have once been worn by a young woman, however now it was seen on an old women whose shrunken body was mere skin and bones. All I could conjure up was the comparison of Miss Havisham to a waxwork skeleton, now in ‘the ashes of a rich dress’. The bridal dresses luxurious ‘fabrics’ of satin, lace and silk were now yellow, faded and paper-thin, and added to this the flowers in her hair and veil gave me the uncomfortable feeling that the women was now dressed in her grave clothes. When Miss Havisham’s dark eyes turned to look at me I felt utter alarm and wanted to shout, but nothing came out. With my eyes still intently taking in the untidy room, with clothes and personal effects scattered around and with one shoe on her foot and the other on the table, I gave Miss Havisham my name and told her I had come to play. As I was told to come nearer I noted that both her watch and room clock had stopped at twenty minutes to nine, I wondered why this would be? Although afraid of her I felt the necessity to lie when she asked if I was afraid of her, the fact she hadn’t seen daylight since before I was born only accentuated my trepidation of her. As she touched her heart it reminded me of the young man and when she told me it was broken I saw her face fill with a weird boastful smile. I had come to play, to entertain Miss Havisham, but I didn’t know what to do, she thought that I was being very sullen and obstinate, however I told her that I was sorry for her and was finding everything new, strange and melancholy. I had to call Estella as Miss Havisham told us to play cards together. As I could only play ‘Beggar my Neighbour’ Estella’s’ contempt of me seemed to grow, I was merely a ‘labouring boy’ and one that called a ‘knave’ a ‘Jack’. Why did she think so little of me and make me feel conscience for the first time of my coarse hands and common boots? Miss Havisham appeared to watch us in a transfixed expression, like that of a corpse, as though her whole body and soul had dropped and mere daylight would turn her to dust. I had to whisper to Miss Havisham what I thought of Estella and realised that although she was very pretty I also found her very proud and insulting, although deep down I realised I would like to see her again. I did hear Miss Havisham earlier telling Estella she could break my heart if she desired, I wonder what she meant by this? I had a great wish to go home, but on Miss Havisham’s request I have agreed to return in six days. Being without natural light, I almost thought it must be dark outside so I was hit by the daylight when re-entering the courtyard. On orders from Miss Havisham, Estella brought me some food, however the look she gave me was one that I felt such humiliation and hurt that tears sprang to my eyes. Realising I was morally sensitive and timid seemed to bring pleasure to Estella and she enjoyed treating me as though I was a disgraced dog. Feeling better from the food I was again aware of the whole oppressive wilderness, a crooked pigeon house, with no pigeons, no animals, just a total emptiness. In the brewery building I saw Estella above in the gallery and hanging a figure of the old women in her faded white apparel, when I turned to look again enormous fear hit me, it had vanished! Desperate to go Estella unlocked the door for me, she appeared so superior to me and seeing me cry seemed to fuel her need to taunt me even more. I just felt my self-esteem was at an all time low, I obviously have despicable habits and I’m more ignorant than I had ever realised.